Around the age of 3-8+ I was relentless about sneaking food. It worried my parents that, regardless of me feeling bad every time, I continued to sneak food, even in the homes of other people. It definitely needed to be solved. As time went on, I matured and learned to control myself better. Satan, using the tool previously mentioned in part one would tell me and try to convince me that I “was a thief.” He would tell me that my small weakness of sneaking food formed the biggest part of my identity. It’s laughable to think of something so small becoming so big in our mind, but Satan is very skilled in it. If an addict has a relapse, even after years of sobriety, Satan tells them that all the work was a waste and that they’re back where they started. He minimizes the “win” of having been successful for so long, and makes them believe that these mistakes define us entirely. What is God’s role in helping us to overcome this tool of Satan? He helps us to overcome this false ident...
“You're up, Jeffery!” A shiver goes down my back. I'm 13 years old, and I’m sitting outside of the bishop's office, waiting to talk to him about my struggles—the area of my life where I am failing—the compulsive behavior that I’ve been trying to unsuccessfully overcome on my own. Even after two weeks of being clean, the stress I felt impelled me to lose another battle only hours before my appointment with the bishop. Thankfully my visit with the bishop was positive. I didn’t feel judged, but rather I felt an outpouring of love. When I told my parents, they responded similarly. They were very supportive.
I had been carrying this burden—this secret—for a long time. I was relieved to feel it immediately lifted from my shoulders, and I promised my parents that I would never again lose a battle.
The freedom and joy that followed was huge. I was inspired to keep winning.
Several months passed and I made some stupid choices. I found that just choosing wasn’t enough—I was lacking self control. I wasn't used to that. As things became harder, I opened up again to my parents, and they enrolled me in a self-mastery program.
This program offered support through a therapist, guys struggling with the same thing, and a personal coach. Each of them equipped me with tools that acted as “armor” against the attacks of Satan. As I applied each tool I felt better about my direction. I still struggled at times, but I was doing a lot better.
A few years later, I served a mission, and I was able to support my companions and the people we taught because of the tools I had collected and the struggles I had overcome.
After the mission, I was on fire. I continued to spread the gospel and was happy with my direction. At times I wrestled with my goals and my “armor” seemed to be compromised. In those moments I experienced what I call a “close-call." I couldn’t live on the edge—I wanted to be done once and for all with this struggle. I had heard that God could change our natures and make us better. Could He take this away from me? Could He change my nature?
Since that time, I’ve been able to maintain my armor and stay in alignment with the correct path. I have also found the person who has been one of my biggest reasons for fighting—my wife. We've been married in the temple and are incredibly happy.
I still feel drawn to experiencing a change in my nature. This blog shows my study of learning how to allow God to not only change my behavior, but to also change who I am now into the person He needs me to become.
Comments
Post a Comment